Why You Need To Know Your Limitations

Dr. Ja'Bette Lozupone

Society conditions us to want to be better, faster, and stronger. In other words, we’ve become obsessed with being more productive, more efficient, more effective, and more everything. With so much focus on being additive, it can feel counterintuitive to value and focus on the need to know our limitations. However, knowing your limitations can save you from going over the edge.

Know Your Limitations: Your Wellbeing Depends on It

When you don’t know your limitations, you can easily become reckless. There is no mistake about it. Our society values optimism. I won’t deny that I’m a huge proponent of cultivating a positive mindset to systematically expand your horizons [it’s even a recurring theme in this blog!]. However, in the pursuit of optimism we neglect to acknowledge and respect that limitations, indeed, exist and can even be necessary.

Sometimes limitations are manmade—such as a budget—and other times they can be self-imposed—think a fixed mindset as opposed to a growth mindset. However, some limitations are bound by natural laws. As an example, light can’t travel faster than 300,000 km per second in space. To quote a character from one of my favorite comedies, “it’s science.” Whether we want to admit it or not, there are limits to nature.

While pursuing limits is tempting, fuels discovery, and can even inspire society to achieve previously unimaginable accomplishments, going beyond is unsafe. At minimum, you can get hurt or tarnish your reputation. In the worst-case scenario, it can cost you your life.

What Drives Us To Push The Limits

The truth of the matter is that unless you push your current limits, you won’t know what your true limits are. An example would be a toddler learning to walk. Pushing your limits is a necessary step in your growth and development to know what you’re capable of.

As you explore your limits, you’ll experience discomfort, possibly pain, and even suffering—whether physical or mental. It isn’t until you come through the other end of your experience that you learn and know your limits. Moreover, until you’ve crossed a line, you won’t know where the boundaries of your limitations are.

The Pressure We Put On Ourselves

When you discover and know your limits, you can consistently function at an optimal level. However, every now and then you might feel compelled to exceed your normal output. This response is usually due to a change in your routine. The change could be anything from a disruption in your personal life, a pressing deadline, or new responsibilities at work.

As a species, human beings can be rather prideful. It’s only natural to want to produce quality work, be seen as dependable, and uphold a reputation for following through on our commitments. When we fear that our reputations are at risk, or feel that it’s up to us to make something happen, we can begin to take on more than we should. In other words, we start biting off more than we can chew.

Consequences of Not Knowing Your Limitations

While you might be able to get away with exceeding your limitations for a brief stint, doing so for an extended period will prove unsustainable [I was abruptly reminded of as much this past week, which prompted this article]. The reality is, it’s only a matter of time before you crash and burn. Here’s what that can look like:

Compromised immune system and illness
Mental health issues, anxiety, and depression
Burnout
Work quality deteriorates
Bad mood
Costly mistakes
Tarnished reputation

Remember, you cannot do for your family, friends, and colleagues what you are unable to do for yourself. Take care of you first so that you can take care of those you love and care about. In other words, after you take care of you, you can focus on family, friends, and colleagues.

How To Know Your Limitations

The more experience you have with exceeding your limitations, the more adept you’ll become with recognizing when to pull back. Pay attention to how you feel. When you feel good, what does your daily routine at home, school, and/or work look like? When things aren’t going well, ask yourself what is happening at home or work. What changes are disrupting your inner peace?

Some will argue that work-life balance is a myth. I don’ t believe this to be true. While I don’t think you can achieve equilibrium between the two, I do believe that you can find harmony between showing up for yourself, others, and obligations such as work, extracurriculars, and civic engagement, when you know your limitations.

The Red Zone

You’ll know you’re in the red zone when you’re experiencing the consequences of not heeding your limitations. The red zone represents your final opportunity to turn back before it’s too late. Otherwise, you’ll suffer the aftermath of the consequences. This can look like anything from a nervous breakdown, to not being able to get out of bed and function, to a fatal heart attack. This is dangerous territory and quite possibly, the point of no return. The sooner you can learn to avoid the red zone the better.

Recognize the Danger Zone and Pump the Brakes

In an ideal world, you want to avoid the danger zone. Alas, that’s not realistic because life is unpredictable and happens to us. I’d even venture to say that life happens for us. This is actually how I feel about the danger zone.

The danger zone is there to help us recognize when we’re pushing ourselves too hard, doing too much, and are holding ourselves to unreasonable expectations. The more proficient you become with identifying subtle nuances in your state of mind, body, and spirit, the more efficient and effective you can be at pumping the brakes to avoid the red zone.

You’ll know you’re entering or operating in the danger zone when you experience the following symptoms (this list isn’t exhaustive, but gives you an idea):

Overwhelm
Fatigue
Apathy
Missing or cancelling commitments
Fog brain
Avoidance
Falling behind
Abandoning your routine
Not sleeping well
Eating poorly or missing meals
Getting snappy or less patient/tolerant than usual

When you find that you are operating in the danger zone, it’s time to pump the brakes. By pumping the brakes, you can gracefully transition back to the safe zone. Whether you are needing to slow down and restore harmony or avoid the danger zone altogether, there are some tactics you can employ to consistently function in a safe and sustainable fashion.

Tips To Anchor You In the Safe Zone

There’s no avoiding the unpredictability of life and being thrown into the danger zone unwillingly. However, when you know your limitations, you can not only practice the tactics below to keep you firmly planted in the safe zone, but all that practice will make it that much easier to deploy these tactics when you find yourself in the danger zone. As a result, you’ll be able to swiftly navigate your way back to safety.

Learn To Say No

It can be difficult to say no in our personal and professional lives—especially if it’s something that you genuinely would like to say yes to. However, no doesn’t need to look like a hard stop. Sometimes, you can simply offer alternative solutions. You could recommend another point person, a different timeline, or negotiate a lighter load.

Ask for Help

Sometimes you can’t escape the responsibilities that land on your plate. When this happens, your best solution is to ask for help. Recruit family, friends, and colleagues to help you bridge the gap. If you can’t get extra hands on deck, then try and offload a different responsibility. If nothing can come off your plate, explore negotiating a deadline extension or extending the timeframe with which you must must complete a deliverable.

Pace Yourself

As the popular American Proverb by Joseph Kennedy goes, “When the going get’s tough, the tough get going.” When nothing can come off your plate, sometimes the only thing you can do is to pace yourself. This is where knowing your limitations is even more crucial, because pacing yourself implies that you are going to push yourself to your limit. If you find yourself in this situation, develop a system for prioritization. The Eishenhower Matrix is one of my favorite tools to manage my time and priorities when I know overwhelm is on the horizon.

Make Sweeping Lifestyle Changes

Sometimes, it becomes apparent that the commitments and responsibilities on your plate that you thought were temporary are permanent. You might have been able to make do for the short-term, but sustaining for the long-term is not viable. When this happens, it might be necessary to make significant changes to your lifestyle. Take inventory of your non-negotiables, figuratively clean house, and make room for the new realities of your life. You can learn how to manage and embrace a new you in this article I wrote.

Know When To Say When

When all else fails and all signs indicate that you are on the fast track toward the danger zone, it’s time to pull the plug. No one likes to bow out prematurely, but sometimes the only thing you can do for self-preservation is tap out. Otherwise, your body will take the reins and bring you to a halt. When you find yourself in this situation, the best thing for you to do is be still. Simply stop and give yourself a well-earned break. While we don’t like to acknowledge it, the reality is that the world will keep spinning with or without us.

In Summary

When you know your limitations, you can perform optimally in your personal and professional life. By keeping your pride in check, you can focus on how to recognize signs that you’re headed toward trouble. Even better, you can learn how to avoid the danger and red zones altogether. By being intentional and actively grounding yourself in the safe zone, you’ll have the best chance of consistently enjoying harmony in your life as you shoulder the responsibilities of adulting and achieving your goals.