Master Your Time and Focus on What Matters Most

We often don’t realize what we have until it’s gone. Just talk to someone who has lost a loved one or someone who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Lest you think trauma is a prerequisite for this epiphany, individuals of a certain age will tell you the same. This aha moment usually coincides with no longer recognizing yourself in the mirror because of all those new lines in your face. This, of course, is in addition to other changes better left unmentioned. The older you get the clearer it becomes that time can be a real b*tch. And it’s coming for all of us! 

The bottom line is time is short. Anyone running out of time will tell you it is one of your most valuable assets. Yet we spend so much time forgetting about time itself. We forget that it is finite and that we don’t truly know how much of it we have. In like manner, we live as though our time will never run out. Moreover, we can be extremely wasteful with our most valuable commodity in our day-to-day lives.

When You Fail to Master Your Time, You Waste Time

Like clockwork, we waste our time binge watching the latest season of our favorite show on our preferred streaming site. Or we’ll spend countless hours scrolling mindlessly through social media. Instead of gracefully declining an invitation to an activity that doesn’t interest us, we subject ourselves to time-sucking engagements out of a sense of obligation.

Indeed, you’d be surprised to learn just how much time you are wasting. In fact, you are likely underestimating the amount of time you lose everyday. Precious time is wasted by not setting boundaries, putting other’s needs before your own, and keeping obligations that don’t serve you. 

Are you curious to know how much time you’re wasting and where that time is going? According to this article by Hugh Culver, you are likely wasting most of your day. Seriously. I added up all the time on social media, watching TV, checking email, thinking about what to wear, thinking about exercise, but not actually exercising. The list doesn’t even include average commuting time to and from work, bathroom breaks, eating, and other required daily activities. 

Most folks are spending most of their day getting ready for work and/or school, commuting back and forth to work and/or school,  preparing meals for themselves and/or their families, squeezing more work and/or studying into their day, and engaging in other typical activities to keep the household in order. It’s no wonder that you might want to indulge in some mindless escapism throughout your day to break up the grind. 

Consequences if You Don’t Master Your Time and Tips To Focus on What Matters

You Focus On All the Wrong Things Instead of What Matters Most

As human beings, it’s a common experience to become easily distracted by obsessing over what you don’t have. When you’re focused on what you don’t have, you’re unable to cherish what’s right in front of you. It can be easy to take most of what you have for granted when you’re coveting what other’s have. That’s a lot of time in your head entertaining feelings of envy and not taking action in your life to achieve your goals.

In another article, I shared how my father’s nose was ravaged by cancer. The ability to smell, distinguish scents, taste flavors, and not have to manage a deformity that can be a distraction for others is worthy of being grateful for. Yet, you rarely give your nose the love and attention it deserves. Listen, we’ve all got problems that others are not aware of. Don’t compare yourself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy. 

Tip: Change your focus

Instead, focus on what you do have. Even the seemingly small and mundane things are worthy of your expression of appreciation and gratitude daily. Otherwise, you risk going down a treacherous road of negativity, nurturing a scarcity mindset, and envy. None of those feelings serve you or your goals. In fact, they can totally derail you.

[To learn more about scarcity mindset, hop on over to Nadya Okamoto’s candid and personal admission of how scarcity thinking disrupted her life ].

You Spend Your Time Procrastinating Instead of Taking Action

My oh my how we love to let ideas stew. So maybe you’re not focused on all the wrong things. Maybe you’re focused on all the right things, but you can’t seem to get out of your head and take action. There are infinite reasons why you might be procrastinating. Some of the most common reasons include:

• Perfectionism
• Fear of failure
• Fear of criticism
• Avoidance
• Low self-esteem
• A tendency to self-defeat
• Depression
• Trouble focusing

Tip: Let your alter ego tap in

This list could go on and on. However, here’s a little trick to help you deal with the infinite sources of your procrastination. If you intentionally shift your focus to timing and doing, you can skip over the procrastination that results from all the reasons above [and the reasons not listed]. As an example you might say something like, “If I weren’t worried about being perfect, I would take these steps to act for the next 10 minutes.” Then, spend the next 10 minutes doing those steps. You can go one step further and expand your time commitment to “X” number of minutes every day. 

Say you have a goal to write a book. You might not know where to start, what to write about, or feel confident around this endeavor. Think about what might be entailed in that endeavor and any steps you think are involved. Then you might say something like, “If I weren’t afraid of failure and criticism, I would start writing whatever comes to mind for 10 minutes every day during my lunch break.” Now let your alter ego take those steps.

The more specific you are, the better. And you’ll experience more success if you commit to dedicating small spurts of time toward your goals daily. You’ll be surprised to see how much momentum you gain with just a tiny amount of time dedicated to action everyday.

You Fail to Set Boundaries and Focus on What Matters Most 

We’re all balancing a lot on our plates. It can seem like everyone wants a piece of you. It can be reaffirming and nice for the ego to know that folks value you, your skills, talent, perspective, and more, However, it’s more than likely that what they’re not placing a value on is your time. In other words, in the long line of people that want or need something from you, you should be first in line.

Tip: Carve out time for you first

Even the airlines seem to know this. Before take off, the flight attendants remind you to place your oxygen mask on first in the event of an emergency. Once you’re squared away and literally able to breathe, now you can help someone else. It’s an excellent metaphor for life. You’ve got to put yourself first. Whether its your wants, needs, or desires, the best way to avoid putting yourself last is to schedule and commit to filling in your calendar and to-dos with daily activities focused on you first. You can then help others to your heart’s content with what time is left on your calendar. 

You Fail to Prioritize What Matters Most

No matter what, at the end of the day, your calendar and to-dos can stack up rather quickly. Things like work deadlines, school assignments, volunteer commitments, helping out friends, spending time with family, working toward your long-term goals, and so on can become difficult to manage. With so many activities and responsibilities it can become difficult to know where to focus.

Tip: Identify and prioritize your non-negotiables first

Dare I say, it might be wise to identify some non-negotiable commitments in your life. You might have [accurately] guessed already on where I will recommend that you start. I recommend that at the top of your non-negotiable list, you place activities that prioritize you. To be more specific, I’m referring to activities that cater to your mental, social, emotional, physical, and financial well being.

Next, I recommend you prioritize time for activities that cater to the mental, social, emotional, physical, and financial well-being of the individuals in your life that you are legally or morally on the hook for. Those folks will typically be limited to your spouse, children, parents, and pets. After you’ve taken care of you and your loved ones’ well-being, you can focus on everything else that encompasses the daily grind of life with one caveat.

After you’ve taken care of technically keeping you and the people who matter most alive, safe, and healthy, you can focus on any short or long-terms goals that didn’t fall into the well-being category. Now you’re definitely making progress toward your goals, dreams, and purpose in life. Let urgency, deadlines, and importance dictate your prioritization list for everything else you have going on in your life. 

You Waste Other Valuable Resources Too, Like Your Health and Money

I’ll say it again, when you don’t master your time, you tend to focus on all the wrong things, instead of what matters most. Wasting of time can lead down the path of neglecting your health (mental, physical, and so on) and experiencing financial setbacks. This can look like burnout, suffering from preventable ailments, finances running amok, and short-term and long-term financial goals—like buying a home or retirement—being compromised. If you need help mastering your health and finances, you can start by following all of the above tips for mastering your time.