How Well Do You Know Yourself?

Admittedly, asking you how well you know yourself is a bit of a trick question. I’m not convinced that we ever truly know ourselves at any given point. Moreover, we are constantly evolving and changing like the wind from one season to the next. Whether due to passage of time, success or failure at denial, or engaging in a rigorous process of self-discovery, it is truly difficult to get to the bottom of who we are at any given moment. However, if you’re up for the task, you can begin to know yourself better by asking yourself questions about your past and future. 

To Know Yourself Is To Know What You Want

Getting to the bottom of what it is that you want has a lot to do with honesty, transparency, and knowing yourself. You can take a deeper dive into getting honest with yourself in this other article I wrote. While it might sound a little crazy or counter intuitive, sometimes the best way to get at the heart of an issue is to take a backdoor approach. To get to know yourself better and figure out what you want, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Who did you used to be?

Think about and write down traits and characteristics that you would use to describe your past self. What types of things did you enjoy doing? How did you spend your time? If you had any self-defeating or self-sabotaging habits, you’ll want to write these down too. Don’t just focus on the good stuff. Focus on your previous shortcomings also. The idea is to comprehensively describe your past self—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

2. What’s changed between who you used to be and who you are now?

When thinking about what’s changed between your past and present self, what are you most proud of? List any accomplishments or achievements that you’ve attained. Where have you grown and matured in your understanding, perspective and experience? In addition, it’s important to also include areas of struggle, where you perhaps still have work to do. You’ll also want to note positive aspects about yourself that you like and admire that you still embody.

As you think about who you are today as opposed to who you used to be, take note of the moments and experiences that shaped the current you. What lessons have you learned on your journey and how will they inform your future? How can you leverage what you’ve learned about yourself to step into who you want to become?

3. What do you not want in your life?

Sometimes it’s easier to know what you don’t want instead of what you want. Fortunately, you’ve got life experience under your belt and you can more clearly see how far you’ve come from your previous self. When you think about the experiences you’ve had and the lessons learned, what do you with certainty no longer want in your life? This can include anything that you recognize as detracting from your joy, light, and vision for a happy life.

4. Who do you want to become?

This is where you allow yourself to dream free from limitations. Think about the life you envision for yourself. One trick is to think about how your future self would reflect on your past self. What achievements would your future self be most proud of? What do your surroundings look like? Who is in your life sharing your joy? Most importantly, how have you made people around you feel? What have you brought into the life of others?

5. What needs to happen to arrive at your future self?

Again, a backdoor approach to answering this question might be helpful. One way to get at the root of how to arrive at your ideal future self is to ask what is stopping you from becoming who you want to be. What is standing in your way? After you have listed all of the things that stand between you and your future self, note what steps you need to take for each of item. You’ll likely find that you can begin your first step almost immediately. You might also find that you are the only thing standing in your way. 

2 Self-Discovery Exercises To Know Yourself Better

Here are three easy exercises that can help you start your journey of self-discovery:

1. Journaling Prompts for Self-Discovery

Now that you’ve already started reflecting on the questions in the section above, grab a notebook or the nearest paper and start documenting your responses right now. Did you know that people who keep journals have more self-awareness than those who don’t? However, there are ways to ensure that your journaling produces the desired effect. Check out this article and resources from Dr. Tasha Eurich.