No matter our best efforts, a time will come when we realize that we have veered way off our course. There are usually signs along the way that indicate a slow erosion. However, for one reason or another, we fail to course correct. This could be for any number of reasons. Yet one thing is for certain. It doesn’t usually end well. Along the way, there are telltale signs that it’s time for a reset. The sooner we can course correct, the better.
How You Get Off Course
Too Much On Your Plate
If you’ve ever heard the parable about the boiling frog, you understand how this can happen without you noticing. Here’s the gist of it:
A frog is placed in a pot of water. The water temperature ever so gradually increases until the water begins to boil. All the while, the frog never jumps to safety. The change was so incremental and slow that the frog never realized that it was boiling alive.
This story is a commonly used illustration of how slow incremental changes can go unnoticed and have damaging effects. Human beings experience these effects as they take on more and more responsibility. These responsibilities can include caregiving of family members, spousal commitments, career obligations, civic engagements, and so forth.
As you take on more and more in any given context and across various areas of your life, you can slowly find yourself overextended. When this happens, you might experience heightened levels of stress for extended periods of time and even overwhelm. This can lead to any number of adverse effects on your body, mood, and behavior.
As an example, you might experience a compromised immune system, thus, making you more susceptible to pain and illness. Other indicators might include anxiety, fatigue, lack of motivation, outbursts, overeating or undereating, and more. You can learn more about the most common symptoms of stress and their short and long term effects here.
Illness or Injury
Sometimes it is an abrupt change that throws us off our routine. Illness and injury are typically the culprits because of the recovery time needed to get back on our game. Once momentum is lost it can be difficult to gain it back. Moreover, depending on the illness or injury, it might not be realistic or feasible to return to your previous routine.
Signs That It’s Time for a Reset
Your Needs Fall By the Wayside
Drift from our treasured self-care routines is usually the first indicator that we’re potentially on a collision course. Maybe you skip your exercise routine one day, miss your meditation, or eat that sweet treat, but think it’s no big deal. Then it happens again. Then another time. You get the point.
In addition, maybe other aspects of your routine begin falling by the wayside here and there too—like your book club or weekly hobby. Before you know it, you’ve slowly and consistently cut out most of your self-care routine. The drift could very well be due to legitimate reasons, such as taking on more responsibilities. Perhaps it is simply due to a transition to a new schedule and routine. Nevertheless, an interruption in your regularly scheduled programming can threaten to derail your routine and progress for longer than you anticipate.
When our plates fill up, the first thing to go is usually our self-care. We tend to put our needs on the back burner as we turn our attention outward to others. When this happens, we can find ourselves depleted and in the worst possible position to be at our best.
Feeling a Loss of Control
When you begin feeling like you are no longer in the driver seat, you know it’s time for a reset. This can look any number of ways. You might find yourself overeating or skipping meals, overindulging in drugs or alcohol, feeling a lack of motivation, not sleeping, or experiencing restlessness. Whether you’re doing too much or not enough, feeling like you have no control or little control is never good.
Fatigue
Similar to having too much on your plate, exhaustion can happen more acutely due to a temporary need to accommodate unique circumstances. While less threatening than our above examples of prolonged overextension and extended periods of stress, the acute nature of exhaustion can be equally disruptive to our wellbeing and goals when it’s happening regularly.
Typically, when we experience exhaustion, we tend to run toward the other end of the extreme to recover. Since exhaustion is acute, it’s easier to find our way back to self-care. However, fatigue is a different story and it can be experienced emotionally, mentally, and physically. Periods of exhaustion can build up to form longer-experienced fatigue, which can lead to burnout. If you’re feeling tired all the time and experiencing fatigue, you can learn more about its causes, symptoms, and treatment in this article.
How To Reset
When it becomes clear that it’s time for a reset, take an inventory of the activities that ground you and bring you joy. You’ll likely notice that you abandoned those activities awhile ago. Your list should include acts that are geared toward your needs for clarity, peace, happiness, and stimulation. By taking a few small steps in the right direction, you can get back on track. Here are some ideas to help you reset:
Spiritual Wellbeing
Try engaging in a daily activity, even if only for a few minutes, to ground yourself spiritually. You can regain a sense of spiritual wellbeing through meditation, mindfulness, breathing techniques, and prayer. How much time you spend is not as relevant as carving out the time itself for these spiritual activities.
Every morning I write morning pages. It’s a type of journaling that serves as a brain dump and stream of consciousness to help me find clarity of purpose and encourage positive self-affirmations. I also find the practice to be meditative. You can learn more from Julia Cameron here. However, if you want to start morning pages and begin the ultimate journey of transformation, I absolutely recommend her book, The Artist’s Way. You won’t regret it.
Physical Wellness
Exercise is one of those things where people either love it or hate it. Whether you enjoy exercise or not, your body needs it to be healthy. You only have one body, so you want to do whatever it takes to protect your vessel.
If you’re one of those folks that loves exercise, you can skip right over this section. But if you’re like me, and have no intention of working out at the gym, I have some thoughts for you to consider. Exercise is incredibly important for the top 10 reasons listed here. If you could use some recommendations to increase your physical activity, here’s my take.
I find that when I focus less on exercising to lose weight or chase a particular physique, I am better able to sustain a routine that works for me. When I commit to some form of physical activity everyday, even if just for 5-10 minutes, I am golden.
Find a time of the day that works for you [I’m a morning gal] and stick with it. Further, I recommend that you push yourself to make small changes like parking further away and taking the stairs in order to increase your physical endurance and stamina. Your body will thank you for any small steps you take to become less sedentary.
Mental Health
Depression doesn’t discriminate and stress can take its toll on our mental health. Invest in your mental health by cultivating a habit of gratitude, establishing healthy relationships, engaging in hobbies, and meditating. By making yourself a priority, you can ensure that your needs are being met prior to meeting the needs of others. Here are 31 Tips To Boost Your Mental Health from Mental Health America. If you find that you’re experiencing persistent symptoms of depression, reach out to a trusted friend and/or a professional.
Intellectual Stimulation
Never stop learning. Personal and professional development are crucial to your growth in every aspect of your life. Carve out time to learn something new. As an example, you can take a course or class, read a book [you can commit 10 minutes every day], take up a new hobby or learn to play an instrument. Whatever you choose to do, you’ll find that learning a new skill improves your brain health and memory, increases your mental wellbeing, fosters connection with others, and improves happiness. Moreover, it makes you more adaptable and marketable in your professional life.
Creative Outlet
Find opportunities to be creative just for the fun of it. As an example, you can make a special playlist, build something, experiment with a new recipe, or color/paint something. The benefits of creativity include becoming a better problem solver, widening your perspective and better dealing with uncertainty. There are also plenty of benefits of practicing creativity in your professional life. You can learn more about the benefits of creative thinking in business and how to promote creativity in the workplace with this article from Indeed.
Hobbies
Spend time engaging in your hobbies. There are myriad benefits to having hobbies such as fostering social connections, relieving stress, and living an enriched and well-rounded life. However, I’d argue that the most important reason to have a hobby is that they are fun. Life isn’t just about going to work, washing dishes, doing laundry, and adulting. You need to let loose, let off some steam, and enjoy the activities that make you laugh, challenge you in a good way, and make life vibrant and wonderful.
Time With Friends
Carve out time with your friends. Whether it’s a poker night, a girls night in, family game night, a fishing tournament or brunch with your best friend, it’s important to spend time with those you care about and who care about you. These are the folks that will support you through difficult times, will never let you live down that crazy thing you did that one time, and will bring you joy like no stranger can.
Rest and Relaxation
Last but not least, schedule some down time for yourself. It can be hard to jump off that hamster wheel. This is especially true when you have lots of folks counting on you. But remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Find opportunities to sleep in or take a nap, sneak in a massage, or take an overnight trip to a favorite destination. Whatever you choose to do, make sure that distractions are cast aside and that it is something that brings peace and joy into your life.
In Summary
It can be easy to get swept up in the daily minutia of life. Before you know it, you might find yourself spending your precious time and energy on things that don’t serve you or your best interests. This is usually attributed to being spread too thin. When you find that you’ve gone off course and that it’s time for a reset, you can get back on track by taking steps to prioritize your needs in various areas of your life. If you want some ideas to stay in that zone daily, check out this article I wrote.
CHECK-IN
1. What signs do you typically experience to let you know that you’re in need of a reset?
2. What’s your go-to when you realize that it’s time for a reset?
3. How much drift do you experience before you course correct?
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2 thoughts on “How You Know It’s Time for a Reset”
1) I feel overwhelmed (Brene Brown’s definition!).
2) I watch tv. Anything comforting. It lets me escape to another world. I don’t have to think!
3)Getting better at not letting it get too bad!!
I’m a big fan of Brene Brown! I try to avoid getting overwhelmed (Brene Brown’s definition) and when I know I’m headed toward catastrophe, I stop everything and take a few days to shut everything out and just be. I focus on meditation, exercise, and rest. It’s a work in progress, but I’m getting better at it too 🙂
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