In case you needed a reminder, humble pie doesn’t taste very good.
Let’s not sugarcoat it: I made the most cringeworthy mistake today and ate my fair share of humble pie. The kind of mistake I made is one that makes you want to change your name, buy a floppy hat, and become a silent monk in a remote mountaintop retreat. Actually, it was worse than that. It’s the kind that sticks to your soul like gum on your shoe—annoying, mortifying, and painfully hard to get rid of.
I won’t get into the details (because some stories need to sit quietly in the corner of shame), but here’s the gist: I used a pop culture reference to intentionally mispronounce someone’s name. I thought I was being clever. Maybe even funny. Perhaps, I thought I was connecting. Big. Mistake.
To say it landed flat would be an understatement. It landed so flat that it crashed and burned, took my confidence with it, and left behind a smoking pile of embarrassment.
And you know what? The person I offended—because yes, they were rightfully offended—had the courage to tell me so. With clarity. With grace. With strength. And I… well, I re-learned how to eat humble pie.
The Middle School Flashback No One Asked For
As adults, we like to think we’ve graduated from middle school behavior. We’re professionals, after all—leaders, founders, speakers, facilitators. We’re supposed to know better.
But sometimes, a deeply buried insecurity, a lazy attempt at humor, or a desperate need to feel “in” with someone we admire gets the better of us. And suddenly, we’re transported back to being 12 years old—awkward, unsure, and very much capable of saying the wrong thing.
Today, I was that 12-year-old. Except I had a full résumé, a calendar full of strategic meetings, and a title that reads “Founder.” So what the heck was I thinking?
The Anatomy of a Cringe Moment
Let’s dissect the anatomy of a cringe moment for a second:
- Intent: Maybe I wanted to relate. Maybe I thought we belonged to the same IYKYK tribe. Maybe I was just being lazy.
- Execution: Poor. Like, zero stars.
- Impact: Someone felt hurt. They had the courage to say so.
- Aftermath: Me, writing this blog post while wondering if I’ll ever show my face again.
Here’s the hard truth: even with good intentions, we can still cause harm. And when we do, our job isn’t to justify or retreat into self-flagellation. Our job is to own it. Fully. Unequivocally. Without deflection or denial.
That’s what it means to eat humble pie.
How to Eat Humble Pie (Without Choking on It)
If you’ve ever messed up royally and need to make it right, here’s a recipe I recommend:
1. Drop the Defensiveness.
Don’t gaslight yourself or the other person. Don’t hide behind “it was just a joke” or “I didn’t mean it.” Intent doesn’t erase impact.
2. Listen Deeply.
When someone tells you they’re hurt, believe them. Don’t interrupt. Don’t redirect. Don’t minimize. Here are some valuable tips for active listening.
3. Apologize Authentically.
Say you’re sorry. Say it sincerely. Say it without conditions. Bonus points if you add: “I now understand how that made you feel, and I’ll do better.”
4. Reflect Honestly.
Ask yourself the hard questions. Why did I say that? Was I seeking validation? Did I default to humor as a shield? I know that it’s easier said than done. And while this may be the case, do the hard work to figure it out. This previous post might help.
5. Commit to Change.
A mistake isn’t a life sentence—it’s a classroom. Genuinely, embrace the lesson. Then, apply what you learned. Further, let it change how you move in the world. Because the truth is, you can’t grow unless you make mistakes. Knowing this truth, it’s worthwhile investing your time to master how to grow from your mistakes sooner rather than later.
A Masterclass in Speaking Up
Let’s shift the lens for a moment to the person I offended.
What a masterclass they gave in speaking up with integrity. While I wanted to melt into the floor the moment I realized that I made a mistake, they modeled something I often struggle with: brave, direct communication. They didn’t let it slide. Moreover, they didn’t make themselves small to spare me discomfort. Instead, they honored their own dignity and held me accountable—with grace, not hostility.
That is a gift.
And it made me realize: I want to be more like that. I want to be the person who can kindly say, “Hey, that wasn’t okay,” instead of just brushing it off, telling myself I’m too sensitive, and internalizing the hurt.
Because silence doesn’t protect our peace. In fact, it only lets harm go unchecked.
For those of you reading this that know me, you might be thinking, “You’re one of the most direct communicators that I know.” And while that is true in most circumstances, it’s not true when it comes to letting people know that they have hurt my feelings or offended me. This woman you perceive as brave, doesn’t always know how to speak up for herself, and I want to get better at it. Scratch that. I am actively working on it.
Cringe Moments and Mistakes Are Inevitable—Growth Is Optional
This wasn’t my proudest day. But it may end up being one of the most meaningful. Ultimately, it reminded me of two essential truths:
- We will mess up and make mistakes. No matter how polished we are, how well-intentioned, how inclusive, how empathetic—we will mess up. We will make mistakes–big and small.
- We get to decide what we do next. Will we deflect or will we own it? Will we shrink or will we grow?
So here I am, choosing to grow. I’m also choosing to be vulnerable with all of you.
As I pick myself up and dust myself off, I’m choosing to turn this hot mess into a hot take. I’m also choosing to write this blog instead of crawling under a rock. Last, and certainly not least, I’m choosing to face the discomfort instead of dodging it.
And maybe that’s the real win here. Not in being perfect, but in being teachable.
In Summary
In the end, this wasn’t just about a name or a joke gone wrong. More accurately, it was about presence, accountability, and the kind of person I want to be. Today, I was reminded that true leadership isn’t about getting it right all the time—it’s about being real enough to own when you get it wrong. Also, it’s about repairing with care, listening without ego, and letting yourself be changed by the uncomfortable moments. Today, I got it wrong. But tomorrow, I’ll do better—and that’s a promise I’m keeping out loud.
Food for Thought
- When was the last time you made a mistake that made your stomach drop—and what did you learn from it?
- Have you ever stayed silent when someone crossed a line because you didn’t want to make them uncomfortable?
- What would it look like for you to practice both humility and courage in your everyday interactions?
2 thoughts on “When Cringe Becomes a Classroom: How to Eat Humble Pie with Grace”
Wow!!! Thank you for sharing with us!! Those embarrassing moments can really be painful but if we chose to, it can be a beautiful moment of growth and even healing! What a courageous thing to do to write about it! Also for the offended person who was also courageous to speak up for themselves. A lesson to learn from them as well. Thanks!
Thanks for your encouraging words. This experience stung and will stay with me, which I’m grateful for–because I won’t make that mistake again. My grandmother would always say, “You don’t have to make all the mistakes yourself. You can learn from others’s mistakes.” I hope that by sharing this experience, someone else can avoid it, or at minimum have a resource for how to move forward with grace.
Comments are closed.